How to deal with work related stress (and not bring it home)

Key Points

• Some stress is healthy but if the stress is excessive or prolonged it may be negative. 
• Work related stress may be caused by a number of issues such as workload or organisational change.
• There are a number of strategies you could put in place to help manage your stress and avoid bringing it home from work.

There are stressful days at work. And then there’s the type of boss-on-your-back-and-deadlines-coming-out-your-eyeballs work related stress.

According to Consultant Psychologist Dr Bec Jackson, there is “healthy stress” which may aid your performance at work.

“Stress is a normal response to the demands of work,” she explains, “It may help with your motivation to do a good job, ensure you feel valued, meet deadlines and achieve outcomes.”

But often it’s not the healthy stress that’s keeping you awake at night. It’s more likely to be the negative kind.

“When stress becomes excessive or prolonged, it’s not good for people’s health and wellbeing,” Dr Bec says.

If your work related stress levels are through the roof, Dr Bec shares some tips to help you get it under control. 

Theories of stress at work

Dr Bec says in order to understand stress at work, you need to understand stress more broadly.

“When our perceived demands outweigh our perceived capacity or ability, we interpret that as a ‘threat’,” she explains, “That ‘threat’ is experienced as stress. The perceived demands may be interpersonal, expertise and skill, time, energy or knowledge.”

For example, your boss may give you a new task to complete with a short deadline. If you don’t feel you can complete the task in time, it could lead to stress. Likewise, if the task is outside your area of knowledge or expertise. Or if you don’t get along with someone you’re working with on the task.

Causes of stress at work

Every workplace is different and every individual within a workplace is different. But Dr Bec says there are some common themes when it comes to work related stress. The top ten causes of stress at work may include:

• interpersonal relationships and team dynamics
• lack of support, mentoring or coaching
• resource, staff and budget restraints or inefficiencies
• organisational change such as integrating new technologies or leadership changes
• challenges with timelines or balancing multiple competing demands
• working long hours or shift work
• lack of psychological safety or experiencing bullying
• job insecurity
• ineffective leadership that results in poor communication
• uncertainty about role clarity and responsibilities

In some situations, any of the above may be manageable and not cause negative stress. In others, any one of the above is enough to have you feeling seriously weighed down by work related stress.

How to manage your work related stress

If stress is a normal part of work, learning how to manage it is important, particularly if you want to achieve a healthy work life balance.

Maybe you’re worried about how to manage stress at work while pregnant. Or perhaps you’re concerned about the impact of work stress on your relationships. Whatever the case, Dr Bec shares ten tips for managing your stress at work:

1. Limit working excess hours

There may be times when you have to work some overtime to get the job done. The trick is ensuring it doesn’t become a habit so you can work smarter not harder.

2. Schedule meetings and major tasks during core work hours

To help stick to your working hours, try to fit most of your work within your working hours. Stress becomes easier to manage when you set clear boundaries for yourself.

3. Set realistic deadlines

If you have any say over deadlines, make sure you’re realistic about what you could actually achieve. If your deadlines are set for you and you’re struggling, speak with your manager.

4. Make manageable ‘to-do lists’ – 3-5 items

A never-ending to-do list isn’t very productive. You can’t get motivated when you have so much to do. Maybe that explains the brain fog you’re experiencing. Instead, cut your list down. Each day, list the 3-5 tasks you’re going to complete. 

5. Learn it's OK to say no

No is a hard word to get your head around sometimes. But if you say yes to everything and take too much on, it may lead to more work related stress. Say no and own it. 

6. Have technology/screen breaks

Your body will thank you if you take regular breaks throughout the day. Sometimes all you need is a ten minute break from your computer to get some clarity. 

7. Have ‘self care’ breaks during work hours

Why is self care important? It may help you recharge from the demands of work. Even five minute self care activities may be helpful. 

8. Limit excessive caffeine intake

That’s not to say you can’t drink coffee at work. But if you turn to coffee whenever you’re feeling stressed, maybe try replacing it with caffeine-free herbal tea or a glass of water. There are other ways to boost your energy when tired. 

9. Make use of EAP and other support services

If your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) or other support, tap into these services. Effectively managing work stress relies on emotional and social support.

10. Try not to take excessive work home 

Where possible, you should keep your home and work life separate. A work life balance planner may help with this so you may get a clear picture of everything you have going on in your life. 

How to leave stress at work

Leaving your stress at work is easier said than done. But Dr Bec says it’s actually important not to blur the lines between work and home.

“I’m a strong believer in having some kind of marker, similar to the concept of the school bell, that ends the work day. It could be pulling out the mindfulness colouring books, going for a walk or packing up your desk,” she says.

Dr Bec also recommends talking it out to help you stop bringing work stress home. You could download an app or chat with a trusted friend – but be careful not to overburden them with your worries. 

Other strategies Dr Bec suggests include exercise and finding a ‘third place’.

“Having somewhere that’s not work and not home where you may recharge your batteries is a good idea,” she says, “It could be the pool, ocean, shed, garden, the local park or a cosy reading nook.”

Don’t go at it alone

You may think that learning how to stay positive when stressed at work is the answer. But toxic positivity may be unhelpful. 

Learning how to practice self love may be helpful but know that you don’t need to go it alone because help and support is available. If you’re struggling with work related stress, seek help from a qualified health professional.

Related:

• Stress and immunity
• What is stress and how can you manage it?
• How can I improve my focus and productivity?

Dr Bec Jackson is a Consultant Psychologist with 20 years’ experience across clinical psychology, academia, therapy and education in clinical, forensic and organisational psychology.

Reviewed by the healthylife Advisory Board February 2022.